Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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