Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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