Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
