If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
