you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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