and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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