He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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