just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
