I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Randomize
