Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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