Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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