did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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