We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
