I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
