No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
