Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
