giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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