I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize