I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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