I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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