I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
