I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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