He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
