Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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