You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
