I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Damn victory sex feels great
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
