I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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