We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Houston, we have a blender
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
