like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
