For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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