I am in a vortex of obligation.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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