It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
