Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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