You're my little dorito
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
