dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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