Don't you send me to vm
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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