okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
