Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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