There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My dick has a subreddit
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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