when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
