I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize