I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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