im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
