I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize