Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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