It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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