That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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