You really coming over, don't trick.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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