And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
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i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
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Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize