Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
my liver is dry heaving
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
