I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
