Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
