Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
