We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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