so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
