therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
