Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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