I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
