I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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