is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
