I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
