I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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