While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
