He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
